Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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