I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
