i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
