I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
