how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So. Much. Porn.
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