If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
