if you like me you must not know who I am
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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