My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
