they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
