Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
