sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
