so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
