I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
