i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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