fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
