You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
