Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
