i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
