none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
