i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
