when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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