4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
