I got chris browned last night
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
