thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
