Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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