I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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