He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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