I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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