Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
