watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
