he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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