Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
