I skipped work to stalk him.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
