I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
