do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
