I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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