I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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