He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
