Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
