i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
