I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize