At least make sure they are 18
Why
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
