she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
