matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
