she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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