Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So vagazzling was a success
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize