Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
we're so committed to being not committed
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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