Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize