I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
