no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
