Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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