i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
