My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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