Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
