Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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