Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
it glows. i had to have it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
