so explain again why im purple
no
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
