i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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