i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
